WeLcOmE To Da DiMeNSiON

random update. no link watsoever.

Friday, July 24, 2009

ON 21ST APRIL 2010,I AM GONA REVEAL MY PRIVATE BLOG TO FOUR RANDOM PEOPLE AND FIVE PEOPLE WHOM I HAVE CHOSEN. MY PRIVATE BLOG IS MY LIVEJOURNAL. TILL THEN,I GOTTA GO TO BED NW. AND OUH,I'M NOT NEEDED ANYWHERE IN ANYONE OF UR LIVES GET IT?!~

Childhood.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

this is freaking random but i just wana share my childhood with the world. childhood means end of primary school. LOL.

so was born on 19 december 1989. but sometymes i fin dit weird cz my parents got married on 10 march 1989. so i was born the same year they got married. i was paranoid before abt this. but den again i dun really give a ****.

so my early years was full of nothingness. i couldnt speak out words. my parents say the only thing i could say was "ah tong". yeah. everything i wan would be "ah tong!! ah tong!!" n i was an observer. literally. cz my head wun stop moving to see hw the world is. dats wat my father say wen he carried me. i just keep shifting here n dere to look everywhere. haha. i din went thru nursery cz i still couldnt speak. the following year i went to kindergarten 1(k1) straight. i only knew hw to speak a bit. n count till 100. my kindergarten days werent dat mischievious cz my mum was my teacher. haha. but i started performing during kindergarten itself. my k1 year i became the satay man to this one sing-a-long. i tink it goes,"do u know the satay man the satay man the satay man....~" haha. yes my ferst performance. den i became an "icon" in the class. ferst of all bcoz my mum was our teacher. 2nd of all because i always kill the cockroaches in our class with the chair. LOL. i had a bestfren den. she was a girl. we eventually came across each other during secondary sch w/o a clue we were best frenz wen we were kids. but dats another story. so i got my literal skills soon after in k2 and broke my front tooth because i ran n fell down the steps. dat year i performed agaion but as the five little frogs. lol. haha.

so let's talk abt home. i was always being kept at home. not being able to go out and socialise. ask wana go out get beaten up. wana play at the corridor oso cannot. dats hw bad it is ah. the only playmate i had den was the television. n my neighbour cz occasionally i get to play at the corridors. at dat tyme i was jeles of other kids cz they always get to play under the void deck. laugh together. explore things together. me? hmph. n u noe at tymes wen im at home,i would sit at the locked gate imagining myself playing outside. hearing the other kids laughter n all. but being at my late grandma's place was the best cz dats th eonly tyme i could go out n play. of course with my dear cousin alep. haha.

so primary sch i was a timid little being. haha. but a lot did happen. primary 1 i was quiet. not much frenz n had to go to english remedials cz i couldnt speak properly. primary 2 ok2 made a few frenz. but during primary 3 was wen i really started socialising. made new frenz. boys who played with each other outside. n they askde me along to play with them. but i was the only one being bullied den. yes i was the bullied one. if u were to see my primary sch pix u would understand. but i din mind being bullied. din mind being the last to be picked in the soccer team. cz i noe people actually do wan to be my frenz. n this went on till primary 6 mind u. cz i was the most inferior one. cannot do sports. cannot study because too stupid. kuat merajuk. yes. it all started in primary sch dat i started merajuk-ing. i even almost killed myself cz i actually went up the block n sit on the ledge already. dat was until my frenz came n pull me away. primary 5 was my worst year. cz why. i nvr do a single assignment at all. n my dad gave up on me den. yeah. it was dat bad. i had very BAD beatings from my dad. one even i busted my lips. maybe dats y they're so thick. lol. but primary sch was ok. a girl gave me a rose saying she liked me. i liked this one girl. haha. i was still bullied. i was still the last in anyone's team. i was still the inferior one on primary sch.

n my childhood aint a fairytales. my aunties and uncles tinks the same way to. dat im not capable of doing anything. wenever we have karaoke sessions n it was my turn to sing,everyone would laugh at me ferst. in the end i din wana sing. n went it s abt soccer. my uncles including my father would laugh at me too saying i cant do it n all cz i was short n plump. n dat really explains my low self esteem. cz no one believed in me. no one den. dat was not till secondary sch wen i found my true friends namely Redha,Aidi and Hamster. the four of us had been friends for 8 yrs. n dey had been the one believeing in me. being dere for me. dere is the other fren who was in our clan. but he drifted to the matrep way n we longed have given up on him. well dats a preview of my childhood. now u noe why i have low self esteem n why i love performing n why i hate to be alone..:)

Updating.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

No one checks this blog anyway so im just gona spill in a lil preview of wat i've been tinking nfeeling lately. for those who is reading this gd for u.

1)Talent vs Hardwork. Who is the winner?

2)stand strong even after u've been hit by a tornado.

3)hw can guys understand the way of messaging -a-girl-to-get-their-attention-even-though-it-is-gona-be-the-same.

4)sometymes im just kidding myself. so i should lessen dat part unless it is to buck up my low self esteem.

5)i got a BIG problem with my low self esteem even though at tymes i seem confident and loud.

6)the only thing im confident is fire fighting.

7)damn im turning 20 dis year.

8)remind self not to waste my ferst off day waiting for a girl for 5 hours but get nothing but -.-" from her wen we meet.

9)i tink i should stop partying to save up for i oso duno wat.

10)or maybe i should stop smoking?

11)when the hell am i gona perform again. suntec dance? NAH~!!~~

12)i am a very annoying person on the fon.

13)i can do pirouttes with both of my legs.

14)gum bleeding isnt cool.

15)i need to shut up for the next few weeks.

dats abt it ah. got a lot more but den nvm. the smile below gtg. cz its fake...:)